lastofthetimeladies:

im-a-timelord-you-ass:

lastofthetimeladies:

lastofthetimeladies:

MY MOM JUST ASKED ME WHAT I WANT MY CAKE TO BE FOR MY SPIDER-MAN THEMED BIRTHDAY PARTY AND I TOLD HER I WANT IT TO BE IN THE SHAPE OF ANDREW GARFIELD’S BUTT AND SHE WAS LIKE “SEND ME SOME PHOTOS I’LL SEE WHAT I CAN DO” OH MY GOD

image

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME

'Scuse me, but may I have a piece of that ass?

Do you know how many times I made that joke at my party

Do you

inthedarkcornersofmymind:

fat-birds:

It never fails to crack me up that the first time I posted this, half of my followers thought this was a picture of a large caterpillar :’)

HOLY SHIT I THOUGHT IT WAS TOO UNTIL I READ THE COMMENT

spookyjennacoleman:

brilliantbucky:

spookyjennacoleman:

morice:

blaineheavenanderson:

thesmallestactofkindness:

Gave my students a pop quiz today and learned something new:

If you make all the answers to the questions C, you will see 35 of the most hilariously panicked and confused faces in the world.

are you satan

you really do not live up to your url

and then there’s a c of confusion

DONT

do you not like what you C here?

10knotes:

Gabe Perez must have sapped it from him:

image

HAHAHAHA OH MY GOD

high-school-fling:

spicy-vagina-tacos:

freezerburnt-capsicle:

dontbeanassbutt:

boy, blowjobs sure are a mouthful

jeez, that pun was hard for me to swallow

penis

thanks for your contribution

tinashefanclub:

I’m just so…………………

rowiehz:

kissmeonastarrynight:

fithome:

imgonnariverdance:

shadowkat104:

kellyjacobsbooks:

HOW TO SURVIVE A HEART ATTACK WHEN ALONE

Let’s say it’s 6.15pm and you’re going home (alone of course), after an unusually hard day on the job. You’re really tired, upset and frustrated. Suddenly you start experiencing severe pain in your chest that starts to drag out into your arm and up into your jaw. You are only about five miles from the hospital nearest your home. Unfortunately you don’t know if you’ll be able to make it that far. You have been trained in CPR, but the guy that taught the course did not tell you how to perform it on yourself..!!

NOW HOW TO SURVIVE A HEART ATTACK WHEN ALONE…

Since many people are alone when they suffer a heart attack, without help, the person whose heart is beating improperly and who begins to feel faint, has only about 10 seconds left before losing consciousness.

However, these victims can help themselves by coughing repeatedly and very vigorously.

A deep breath should be taken before each cough, and the cough must be deep and prolonged, as when producing sputum from deep inside the chest.

A breath and a cough must be repeated about every two seconds without let-up until help arrives, or until the heart is felt to be beating normally again.

Deep breaths get oxygen into the lungs and coughing movements squeeze the heart and keep the blood circulating.

The squeezing pressure on the heart also helps it regain normal rhythm. In this way, heart attack victims can perhaps buy precious time to get themselves to a phone and dial 911.

Rather than sharing another joke please contribute by broadcasting this which can save a person’s life!

Be prepared and become part of the solution. Get your free next-of-kin notification card today. Click here: https://www.InCaseOfEmergencyCard.com/

major signal boost

Reblogging cause this could save someone’s life

This could save many lives, reblog

My Dad just had a heart attack, luckily his Mom (My Nan) drove him to the hospital, but he might not be so lucky next time, I’m reblogging this for him.

Reblog it, you never know who’s life you might save

A colleague of mine passed away today because of an heart attack. I wish I could’ve showed him this before today. 

unclefather:

aaliyah1979-2001:

ohhh my goooddd

i can’t risk it

thecutestofthecute:

Animals in Halloween costumes!!!

hedgyhedgehog:

jacquesattack:

You don’t fuck with the tray master

There’s something about the casual destructive power of immense, self-certain competence.